Last December

I was freezing,so lit up one after long

and the trail of cigarette smoke mingled with the fog,like it was never alone

white all over,a cover seemed forever,just minutes before the sun would wake up

it was so beautiful!!! didn't wanted you to wake me up if this was a dream,I could totally skip that day's morning run.

I stood there,I didn't know why,for how long,but the snow refused to quit

It seemed as if it had grown a thick skin,to beat the heat

The quiet air chilled me,froze the leaves,there was this endless shroud of cold mist

I put my earphones back on,I was fragile,it was time to listen to Adele,standing in the corner of the street.

On the benches by the side walk,i remembered the lines we left

on those tiles,I could still hear the sound of memories of our footsteps

We held hands,touching through gloves,almost warm perhaps

I knew I had nothing left to pray for,everything was so damn perfect!!!

We walked up the ladders,the stairs of the station and boarded the city train

it went round and round all across the city and the outskirt firms of sugarcane.

youu tucked your head onto my shoulder,your face on  the frosted window that was turned to grey kept me sane

Had it slide down,you wanted to hear the church bell,I looked up too,to the temple on the top of the red mountain.

Noon turned into afternoon,the moon had come out  little too soon and the day was showing early  signs of darkness

we were at 'the dusk',for your favorite  evening snack,sitting face to face.

What was the moon doing,sneaking into the sky when it was still some light

I was watching at the colored candles and the to ur face,it was so damn bright.

And that's how the short day was ending with a splendor

holding your hand,touching you,you felt so tender,

there is one thing if I were to remember

I will forget how much I loved you last December.

To Mom With Love...

If ever I have to bow my head

If ever I have someone to turn to

If ever I need help

I know you would always be there for me

Those colourful days, those joyous moments

The care, the tenderness in your ways

The warmth in your humble embrace

Is the treasure that I would hardly get…

You were there when I took my first steps

You were there when I first uttered a word

You were full of joy and happiness

The day I wrote your name

In a clean slate for homework

Father always used to say

He was so lucky to have you

The carefree ways you would pamper your child

Is something he looked at awe and style…

In your company I have learnt the world’s lessons

In your guidance I have shot for the stars

I always kept you waiting for lunch

After our school’s class

You never uttered a word

You never showed your pain

For you family came first

And not many times

That I cared to understand your side

Today mom I want to let you know

No matter where I am

No matter what I do

I would always pray your name

For you are my guiding star

You are my divine light

You are my greatest gift

That god could give in a lifetime

So here it is a small note

Dedicated to you...

Words fall short as I try to continue

Because I know no matter how much I say

I would always fall short describing you

I have been harsh sometimes

I have been good too

But mom it’s your faith in me

That has always made the difference for me

Tears are a bit more on the eyes today

I don’t know why

It’s perhaps your memories

That is finally finding their way

With moist eyes and a heavy heart

As I conclude

I am glad to say that I have got you

And it’s always that I would love

Till my last breath

No matter what…

A Story It May Seem...

A story may it seem

An interesting plot or a colourful theme

The tale of you and I

From the first 'hi' to the final goodbye.

Well, I hardly talk about you these days

I'm in a new city, a new place, a new address

They hardly know me, the people

We don’t talk personal, on or off the table.

So, I am almost alone here, except for a few known faces

Sometimes I run into them…and so into your traces

We spend a weekend together once in a while; after all they are old friends,

A long drive, a light drink and then singing loudly for some time.

I sleep with my guitar by my side,

Sometimes I take her for a ride,

She is like you, sounds beautiful, looks stunning

And I fight with her too, while playing something meaningful and interesting.

But I end up writing something new after every meeting with her,

Just like the old times, when I used to write for you while waiting in the car

Nothing has changed, earlier I had a world of words that revolved around you

Today I fight a war of the words, God damn words, they still revolve around you.

Here I am again, caught between your thoughts this night

The world is buzzing outside, celebrating the festival of lights

Colours, crackers, sweets & smiles...they share

I have old stickers, letters, feelings....and my tears.

I remember the walk we used to take,

On this night of celebration, by the central lake

Holding hands, making amends

Used to laugh at how quickly we had become much more than just friends.

Damn, that night was sweet, this could have been,

Now I realize, it's been years that I haven't seen

You, the lake, the lanes, the old street lights,

You remember the park nearby? Where we had our last fight?

It's midnight, Man I gotta stop somewhere…I'm high !

I look up to find the distance between the two glowing stars in this October sky

It’s funny right? When you know you can’t know that…

But you still try.

And all I find in serendipity

…is the tale of you and..........I

From the first 'hi' to the final goodbye.

To My God of Cricket-Sachin Tendulkar

I vividly remember the day, when Indians went berserk after Master Blaster Sachin Tendulkar, arguably the best batsman in the world got out to the legendary batsman from Sri Lanka stumped. Leaving behind India in shatters who were then bundled to a poultry total of 120/8 in response to Sri Lanka's 251. The match had to be called off finally. The semifinal as they called it India was clearly knocked out of the tournament. Sachin however remained the top scorer of the match with 65. He took two wickets too. The reason behind me explaining so many things in detail is because I still vividly remember that day. Because that was the day I was drawn to cricket not because of the game but because of the man for whom the whole country went crazy. I never took any real, active interest in cricket before. But that day/match changed the whole scenario as far as I and cricket were concerned. You may say I'm crazy but I guess so are the other fellow Indians who are ardent followers of cricket especially Sachin.

Critics believed that he got out at a wrong time when his team needed him the most. As he had done several times in the past. But the story didn't end there. There have been numerous accusations in the name of this man since then who literally breathed cricket all through his life, once he decided to put down his tennis racket to pursue cricket. And once there was a bat in his hand, well we all know very well that the rest was history. 1989 saw the rising of a man who then went on to be a legend in the game. Being an Indian it does make me feel proud. It really does. I mean for the half of my life till today cricket meant Sachin to me. My cricketing world started and ended with him. I couldn't think of anyone better in cricket as a perfect brand ambassador for the game. I am really proud of it and would always be. I'm sure we all are.

However there came a time when his commitment for the game started to be questioned. Fingers were raised about his performances. Inferences being drawn to how his presence in the international cricket protected his brand value just for the heck of it. And that is where I started to feel dejected. Many a times I wished I could take down all those who raised questions and doubted his integrity with all of my might. However that was where the rationale came in and practicality took over. I mean they all seemed right in their respective space barring a few who hardly knew and understood what it takes be a Sachin Tendulkar.

That is when I started to take notice of few things. The stance had started falling too early while playing to the seemingly over pitched deliveries. The pulls started to reduce in number. The flamboyance in the straight drives seemed to be not so flamboyant anymore. The square cuts were far too less now to talk about the TM Sachin. The drives were hit with less timing than one would have anticipated. The rock solid defense were sneaked through innumerable number of times to find the timber, on which there were once people betting millions and was once considered a dream for bowlers, rookie or veterans alike. The dream then started getting too regular and he was slowly started to be taken lightly by the opposition (if not totally). The dominance seemed to be fading away a bit. Sachin Tendulkar who once seemed invincible suddenly started to seem vulnerable. Never in my dreams would I have thought that that would happen one day. However that day started coming near and one day it suddenly struck me that sooner or later that was going to end.

The rising sun seemed to be fading into the oblivion of late. The charisma seemed to be fading a bit of late. The flamboyance seemed to be missing a bit of late. The expectations seemed to be indifferent a bit of late. The burden seemed to be rising and the star seemed to be getting distant from the milky way a bit. And that is precisely what I don’t want to happen. A man of his stature certainly deserves the best of the best. And he must do that. Not for him probably, but for us. As I said you have to have a life of Sachin Tendulkar to understand what it takes to be a Sachin Tendulkar. He is probably the last shining star of the league of extra ordinary gentlemen of cricket. He must respond to it as he has countless number of times in the past. The greats probably should get together and tell him to do it for their sake. You may argue it never happens that way and I am fantasizing. But believe me it all seems possible now. And if at all it’s a fantasy so be it.

The era had to come to a close. Today or tomorrow. That however doesn't make things look right the way they are. You have to have a life of Sachin Tendulkar to know what it is really like to be a Sachin Tendulkar. For a man who has given all his blood and sweat for a game that had been ruled by foreign soil for long is something to be taken with high reverence. For a man who single handedly withstood the likes of Walsh’s’,Ambrose’s’,Akrams’,Youniss’,Warnes’,Gillespies’,Lees’,Steyns' alike where wickets kept falling like a pack of cards at the other end is something to be amazed at and respected for. For a man who has taken the game so far higher for many by their own standards, and has remained an inspiration for many in the past and would remain so in the time to come, this certainly is not the way one would anticipate that he would bid adieu. This man certainly knows a thing or two about cricket. And all his decisions regarding his career and life span of the game must be considered with high regard.

And now that we have all known where and how it’s all going to end, the anticipation probably would be sky high, which by all means is acceptable. And as for me I want him to pick his last series, the way he wants to. I want him to go back to his blazing best for one last time in the history of the game and show the world his mettle and what he is made of and silence one and all. I want him to have his share of glory and play a memorable series by giving it everything. I mean everything. As if it was his first, as if it was his last, as it would be. As if he knows what it takes to be a legend. As if he was raising a toast to heaven when he would take up his willow, wave at the dressing room and the crowd, making them realise that it would now be the last time that the master had acknowledged and there would be no second coming to it. I want him to make his fans cry for that one last time and hit them with the thought that it was time for him to hang up his gear and walk out of the field proud for having played the game so long that the world would long his last walk out of the field. That as I know should be the way of bidding adieu by the man. By the man as we all know as the master blaster. The man, as we all know, as the little master. For one last time...

For more than 24 years that man stood for grit, determination, hard work, dedication, commitment, passion, and success. It’s all going to end sooner than we think. It’s all going to come to a standstill before even we realize it. The time has finally come to give him a standing ovation that he always deserved. A perfect epitome of the game. To my God of cricket.

As the stage is set I think it’s the perfect time to remember what Times magazine had to say about the legend.

"It seems while Time was having his toll on every individual on the face of this planet, he excused one man. Time stands frozen in front of Sachin Tendulkar. We have had champions, we have had legends, but we have never had another Sachin Tendulkar and we never will. When Sachin Tendulkar travelled to Pakistan to face one of the finest bowling attacks ever assembled in cricket, Michael Schumacher was yet to race an F1 car, Lance Armstrong had never been to the Tour de France, Diego Maradona was still the captain of a world champion Argentina team, (and) Pete Sampras had never won a Grand Slam. When Tendulkar embarked on a glorious career taming Imran and company, Roger Federer was a name unheard of; Lionel Messi was in his nappies, Usain Bolt was an unknown kid in the Jamaican backwaters. The Berlin Wall was still intact, USSR was one big, big country, Dr Manmohan Singh was yet to 'open' the Nehruvian economy."

- - - Adieu to my God of Cricket. Sign Off. :'(

From My Diary

From My Diary...

They lie scattered across the floor...few torn pages of my diary

He smiles at me from the open door...an unknown face from my memory

What does it say I wonder, what that smile means

Is it just the 90 ml large or for sure memories never die!!!

I race against time, wade across the past, stare across the road once travelled

To those narrow lanes, paddy fields, big banyan trees, ohh...my childhood, where all mysteries unraveled

Those faces which once were clear have faded away with time

The names which meant so much once are forgotten like those rhymes.

Hold on a second, I see a kid running through the dusty street

Hey!!! It was me fighting, screaming, wrestling around, life was so damn free

I look up to the sky, see it turning grey

See those kids, waiting for the rain, see those eyes pray.

It's the same old road... the same old rain...but something does not feel the same

Those pretty faces…those cozy names...everyone is now playing a new game

All those words written in my diary, now looks like a fading dream

But that face at the door is still asking me a question, from which page is it really him?

They lie scattered across the floor...few torn pages of my diary

He smiles at me from the open door...an unknown face from my memory

What does it say I wonder, what that smile means

Is it just the 90 ml large or for sure memories never die…

The Cake Untouched

She was walking slow

And her face said she was a little low

For once I thought she was in pain

The feelings came rushing back, like the November rain

I moved towards the lift as usual

She followed me to the corridor, I acted casual

I kept the door open, helped her let in

She looked so gorgeous you should have seen.

She headed for 3, I was for 5

Intensity taking over the cold vive

The lift came buzzing, she was about to leave

Not for once did I try to convince

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was her birthday that night

Everyone was buzzing, the candles glowing bright

She came down dressed as an angel

It was my last day in town, her birthday and my farewell

She went near the cake bending down to blow the candles

She looked into my eyes and I remembered how we climbed all the hurdles

She put the knife through the cake with a drop of tear in her eye

I hustled out of the room before I started to cry

She waived around smiling happily

But I could see her eyes filled with tears

She came near me and the moment never went by

I kissed her on the cheek and said it was the last goodbye

That was the story of the cake untouched

I still remember those moments when my heart crushed

It was the most bitter cake I had ever seen

I just look back and wish life wasn't so mean...

The Reminiscence

It’s been a long time that we last met and that we spoke to each other. The last time we met we had so much to tell that we could hardly talk. Perhaps that was the reason I couldn't even utter a word. In the moments of desperation you hardly understand what needs to be done. And I was no different either. There was a time when I could hardly imagine a day that we never spoke, we never met each other. And now that seems to be the order of life. Few years down the line there's hardly anything that has changed around, except for me being indifferent to most of the things. Had I known that that was our last meeting, there are a few things that I would have done differently.

I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to love you. I wanted to let you know that you are very much a part of my world. A world, where out of the very few bright lights, you were one. I wanted to make you feel this is what we were meant to have. And that is the best thing that could have happened to both of us. It may seem absurd now but believe me that would have been the thing I would have really done. There nothing more beautiful in this world than the feeling of being wanted. Of being loved. And in the process lose yourself entirely in the world of others. It’s not a sacrifice that you make; it’s actually a discovery that you make that fills your world with light. More vibrancy, more energy than ever before. And you kind of start to like it the moment you step into it. There is nothing absurd about it. It all seems possible now.

The highway is empty and the lights are dim. Distant views seem hazy. The cigarette puff glowing bright. That’s not the things I wanted but I guess I am left with things that are hard to get away with. I am glad you came and you are still beautiful to me. And it still feels good. And it still runs deep. The nights will come and go but not the feelings. I am slowly getting drenched by the haziness of your thoughts. Unperturbed I was when I bid the final goodbye. But I guess the moment was so intense that I never found my way out of it. It’s going to be a long long time before I recollect myself. But sometimes as they say you know not what you are worth until you lose it in the being. This soliloquy of nothingness is killing me. And it’s nothing but a wandering soul lost in the making trying his way out of the dark. But when your sole existence is at stake, I guess it doesn't make any difference anymore.

We were an indelible mark on the sands of time, yet as we would have it, would remain strangers to each other forever. And walk that path, the way it’s meant to be...

Make My Granny Travel Back......Please!!!

You Granny and Time Travel-The Sequel

There's no more stories,I have realised all fables and tales,

Have come a long way,have gown old enough to see how legends fail.

All those stories of yours,heroics and changing characteristics

It's all fading away,it's been too long,the thing between us,there's no statistics.

Well,I remember those glory days,my favourite story days

Granny,me and how she used to bring you there,on her stage.

You killed the devil,you fought the evil,and for everything you stood for

I loved it,the ride,with you and Granny,wanted it forever and more.

But,years later,time has got better off me

I have grown old,Granny older,me away from Granny.

She is falling sick,talking less,living life like a mess

And your stories are gone !!! Even if I stress...

She is just happy to see me ok,big guy,earning money

I don't give a damn,I want her back my old Granny,my sweet honey

Can you do it,that thing,your thing,can you make her travel back

Back to past,to let it last,last longer,without any blocks and checks.

Back to Granny's Courtyard,to the humming birds and paper cards,

To her lap,and thousand stories,add some more,just to fill the gap.

People saying she will be gone sooner I think,I'm a broke man....life's on the brink

She made us meet each other,she is the string,else we are the two ends of a line,there's no ring.

She made me believe on you,that exist

But,since then,I have grown up,now almost an atheist.

So what do you say,it's your game now

Take me back,bring her back,promise me! take a vow!

You, Granny and Time Travel

The seasons take me back, back to days of divinity

I don't know the reasons why they take me back, back to those distance of infinity.

Why would a scorching summer be extra harsh on me, I ask

Why would the madding clouds bash me a little more, I ask

Why the autumn summons me with the Equinox, I ask

Why the Spring speaks too much,and doesn't listen to me, I ask

And I keep asking, a lot more about a lot of things

How can't you see the falling leaves, can't listen when the cuckoo sings.

Isn't this everything your game, my granny says everything carries your name

And you are special, you let others' claim, your share of shame and fame.

Granny says you were there before when we weren't here

Much before that too, even when there was no water and air.

I just gotta question, how can you do it, travelling with time,

Don't you age, We all die! now that's a crime...

The Dancer Girl

Everyday six am is when she would head east

The place where the damsels practice

The place where her soul would come alive

The place where she is popularly known

The dancer girl 

She would sing. She would swing

She would dance till its time

She would be her, as if it was her final call

Keeping her stride she would turn the rounds

As if she was looking for something

That was hardly clear 

The dance let her soul free. or so she thought

The fortunes would rain on her one day

That is what she used say

She never cared what was coming her way 

Once that light was on her face

Once her costumes were down

She would be that normal girl again

Drinking tea poolside

Shying away all through her way

Just for herself she would come to the ground

To check her mailbox if something was around

I never knew what made her happy

The dance or the sound

I would never know

As we have never been around

Together…

But that gentle smile on her face

That innocent look on her eyes

Always left me wanting for more… 

With the night passing by

It would be a new dawn again

And before you know it

It would be six am again

It’s time to get to the bus stop

Just to catch a glimpse of her 

She is the one

As she is popularly known, otherwise

The dancer girl…

Don't Know

Don't Know...

I don't know who I am,

I am just waiting for the rising sun

I don't know where am I,

I'm just covered by the infinite sky

I don't know on which road I tread,

'Coz everywhere I see, darkness has its spread

I don't know from where I came,

I don't even know whether life has remained the same.

Someone said life is a colourful delight,

But where is the colour, I can only see black and white.

Someone said, I'll be the shadow as you walk,

But the shadow left me midway in a pitch dark block.

I don't know why I hear that voice,

Is it an illusion or is it the only noise

I don't know why life has suddenly turned so grey,

Has the time stopped or is it the God's new way

I don't feel the stimulations around me,

Is it God's manifestation to hide me from me

I don't know am I acting sane,

Or has the drug called life, driven me insane.

Someone said life is a colourful delight,

But where is the colour, I can only see black and white.

Someone said, I'll be the shadow as you walk,

But the shadow left me midway in a pitch dark block.

And as I wear that mask of life

I am not the same anymore

The way i used to be before

It as if you have never met me before

The Departure

We fight for what we feel right, But in the end we stay tight

We argued, we raised our voices

And left for ourselves hardly any choices.

It was supposed to be fun, but turned into 'hit and run'

It used to be much simpler, unlike yesterday's twists and turns.

You said something that I thought was wrong

Didn't think twice to ask which league you belonged.

You were stubborn and I  wasn't ready to give up my ground

I was such a fool, didn't realize how ugly did it sound.

And for the first time that night, we were fighting

By then we forgot the reason and just kept shouting.

Then things got serious, and our beliefs were on the line

Sad, just a day ago we shared a bottle of red wine.

I was self-centric when I called you 'self-centred'

It wasn't you but me,who behaved like a fucking retard.

We weren't finished we carried it to the next morning

People laughed at us, but there was no stopping.

By the evening we both were tired

We had nothing; all the bullets had been fired.

You started packing; it was your time to leave

That’s when I felt like I'm falling off a cliff.....

What was I trying to prove!! But you should have explained yourself

Anyway, by hurting you, I made a spoof of myself.

Friendship never asks what we don't share

It's all about togetherness, how well we fare.

And I think we agree a lot more than the differences we air

That’s why, from the old days, we are rare for each other.

So we are friends, with a promise of 'friends for life'

Against all the odd vibes

Just hope you still agree that we fight for what we feel right,

But in the end, we stay tight...

The Careless Whisper

The night is young

The stakes are low

I hear a voice very far

And it’s all low

The night comes everyday

And in its sweetest of voices

Touches me deep in its careless whisper

The whisper that I hear everyday

The whisper that I hear everyday

As if I am connected to it in some way

Hard to let go of things

That you were once a part everyday

Far in the meadows the animals graze

The silent touch of the nature blessing us all through the way

The warmth and the care the mother shows for her child

The priest blessing the passers-by in all awe and style

Still the careless whisper remains deep within the frame

Asking me a question that I have always kept at bay

The light will shine upon all of us one day

The careless whisper giving me the strength to sway away

The rising sun brings with it the promise

Of millions of hope into the foray

The boys seem busy with their play all through the day

And that gentle breeze giving them the joy

Far across the meadows the faint picture giving me the gaze

It’s as if the whisper hinting me the way

I am almost there, to just feel the connect

And I will be on my way

The careless whisper

Accompanying me till the very end

Fading away slowly

Into the day...